I have played many games over the years and one of my favorite things is finding a way to expedite level grinding. I love assigning stat points and watching my character grow in power. Every now and then though you come across a character that is just darned hard to get anywhere with. Following are a few of the classes that I had a real problem trying to advance.
5 Triangle Player
Game:Rock Band – Marching Band Edition
You would think nothing would be more glorious and entertaining than playing a bad-ass triangle player in the current version of Rockband. If you did really think that you need some serious help. This class fails on so many levels and elevating yourself to Triangle Maestro is almost impossible since aside from the ‘Dueling Triangles’ track you need to wait till the end of most every song before you strike it even once. Stamina is seriously lacking for this class as well since even though you are carrying a whopping one ounce triangle you often tire just a few hundred yards into the march. While it may be harder to level this class than it is the Vuvuzela player, it is no where near as annoying at least.
4 Koopa Troopa Warrior
Game:Paper Mario V – The Spiked Boots
When you select this character you are most likely singing the Ninja Turtles theme in the back of your head, but nothing could be further from the truth. Just when you learn how to stop automatically switching direction when you bump into a wall, along comes an unintelligible Italian plumber with no fashion sense to kick you right in the head and knock you out cold. To add insult to injury that little clown grabs your unconscious body carries it with him and whips you at a wall and eventually down a hole. The worst is when he repeatedly jumps on your head for 10 minutes straight grabbing mushrooms that must be pouring out of your now scrambled digestive system. This characters awareness is near non existent as that little mustached menace will walk up right behind you and you cant turn to face him until you bump into something else.
3 Sparkly Vampires
Game:Twilight the ‘Game’
Vampires are creatures of great power and darkness, well not always. This class would not be to hard to level if you could stand playing it for more than one minute before shutting the game off and doing something more entertaining such as watching reruns of This Old House. Playing a vampire other than Blade in daylight is just horribly horribly wrong, and don’t run through any bright light as the rainbow of colors that emit from your character are likely to cause a seizure.
2 Red Shirt Security Officer
Game:Star Trek (Original) Away Missions
The only guy likely to die faster than a black man in a horror movie is the red shirt security officer. It could be my own fault for giving my characters names like Mr. Casualty and Cameron Fodder, but there is more to it than that. This class obviously has a very low IQ stat as they willingly split off from the group of main characters within one minute of entering a hostile environment. RSO’s also suffer from horrible coordination and a lack of quick reflexes as you can be overrun by a blob of lumbering rock with a cruising speed of 2 MPH and never have a chance. It does not matter if you set your phaser to stun or kill, you will never get to fire it before you die a horrible pain ridden death. Adding insult to injury are the various cut scenes in this game where the main story-line characters get it on with some green, double tongued, vixen while you are being dissolved by a hairy sponge.
1 Suicide Bomber
Game:Lego™ Modern Warfare
There is so much potential here but this class is a bit of a one trick pony. It is fun assembling just the right equipment to do the job, I am partial to C-4, but don’t waste too much time on developing this guy. This is the only class I have ever played where you end up dead if you succeed or fail in the mission. Your best bet if you want to play this class is to come up with a numbering system for your name, Muham VI for example, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy trying to come up with new names every time you want to try this guy out.